Ever since dating apps (2010s ) and matrimonial apps (1990s) came into picture the things changed. Contacting a matchmaker (a single person or a small company) is no more the only choice people have to find a suitable match for marriage. Actually marriage is not the only way to get into relationship too - that's what people started realizing (that happened long before the dating apps came into picture, in the 70s after the Vietnam war, in the US).
But when dating apps came, the way people check each other out online, establish connections with people living in far away cities, countries, connecting with people who don't share the same demographics, all that became possible.
In India, matchmaking apps (or matrimonial apps) came (in the mid 90s) much before dating apps (2010s). Life has become easier, people can do many things on their own without involving others (especially one's parents or a matchmaker) or so people think. Yet, that doesn't mean that things are too easy and you can do as you please.
Like other things in life, these tools (apps) enable certain ways of connecting with people but you will still have to put in the work. The ease of using these apps fools people into making 3 important assumptions which are just not true. Like any assumption these too are sources of all f**k ups. Lets see what they are:
1st Assumption: All You Need To Do Is Create Your Profile - The Rest Will Follow Automatically!
Oh boy! this is a super silly. It is not like you are ordering a pizza. I understand both dating app and food ordering app are on the same phone, but it is not the same Einstein! You are out there to find a life partner not a pizza you eat and forget. You will not get instant results when you create a profile, that’s assuming your profile is a good one (more on that later).
Here's how to correct your assumptions:
Understand that it is a long game, you need to put in the effort it takes, you need to show up login and check every day or two, don't delete your profile and be patient. It is going to be worth it.
Don't Do This:
Don't spend the whole weekend liking, swiping profiles till you are blue in your face. That kind of brute force approach will make you disillusioned soon and you will give up the moment you realize that your effort didn’t get you any matches or likes.
It's not like people are waiting for you create your profile so that they can send you likes your way. You need to make yourself noticed and that's hard work. Unless you make your mark, no one will notice you.
Do This Instead:
1. Keep your profile up to date, keep improving it,
2. Check every day or two but don’t spend too much time on it
3. Disable notifications - don't be too desperate - if someone is right for you, they will wait
4. Keep sending likes, keep responding but don't think too much about anyone person.
5. Don’t take it too personally when you don’t get the response you expect.
6. Don’t think you found your partner the moment someone likes your profile either.
Be patient! Be there! Show up regularly, and eventually you will find someone right for you.
2nd Assumption: Post photos or selfies that you have on your phone and you are good to go!
Why this assumption is wrong?
Almost all dating and matrimonial apps show your picture prominently and people visiting your profile first notice the photos before checking other details - you do it too, don't you? If your profile photo doesn't create a strong first impression, you profile will be swiped out and you will keep waiting for that special someone. People form opinions about you in just a few seconds on dating or matrimonial platforms, just by glancing at your profile photos. We all do it!
Your profile photos are very important, they can make or break your prospects of finding a suitable life partner.
Here's how to correct your assumption:
If you are unable to find a match on Bumble, Tinder, (or Shaadi.com, Bharat Matrimony and other websites) you should take your profile photos seriously (but don't look 'serious' in your photos, haha!).
What to do about it?
If you don't have good quality photos that show you in good light, it is a good idea to seek help from a professional photographer like Dateable, here!
How can I help you?
I make sure that you are seen in the best light in your photos, no matter what you think about your looks. I will help you decide the kind of looks that best suit your personality. I will hand hold you through the shoot till delivery of your photos. Think of me as your photographer friend, guide, consultant and advisor.
3rd Assumption: No one reads the bio!
Why this assumption is wrong?
People who are serious about finding a partner right for them do read your bio. You don't want to to attract people who don't read bios - trust me, they are casual and careless about it, not the right kind of people for anyone.
Here's how to correct your assumption:
The bio is your opportunity to express who you are, reveal your personality for others. Stop being casual and careless about it.
What to do about it?
Do write your bio. Here's a blog post to help you do that. If you still need a helping had, Dateable has a Bespoke Bio Writing service - meaning we write a bio for you from scratch. It is not going to be a copy-paste bio. I will try to understand who you are, your personality and write it for you.
If you have read this far, you may as well read other articles by Love Guru (click here).
Love Guru is a treasure of knowledge for people interested in finding an ideal life partner.
If you want your portraits that you can use on your dating or matchmaking app profiles, you are at the right place. Just click here to find out more and book your shoot.
If you want help with your bio, I can help you with that. Click here to check out details of this service.
If you want a no strings attached, totally free profile review, you are welcome! Click here to let me know and I will review your profile and give you suggestions for improving it to maximize your chance of finding an ideal life partner.
If you want to check out the gallery of portraits smart people like you got for themselves, here you click.
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I am Ravi Putcha. I am a professional portrait photographer. 10k Portraits Photography is my brand of 5 star rated photography services in Gurgaon, Delhi and Noida. Know more about me here!
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